work & placement

Things have became significantly different for me since yesterday.

I just received the news about my job placement yesterday. It was unexpected. The result made me keep questioning myself, and God, why? I wasn't that sad but yet the result did not put me in a position where I could know the reason behind this.

Now I'm totally confused. Not that I'm not thankful for what I've been assigned for, but the result is a bit unexpected. It's far than I'd ever thought or imagined!

But I'm slowly digesting it. Just like other things I could not understand before which I do now, I wish I could also make peace with this decision sooner or later.

And I want to give it a good shake. And I'll show them I will.

dream #1

I dream of having my very own apartment. I would decorate the interior by myself, buying my very own furnitures and paint the wall with color I prefer. I also would love to beautify it with a lot of pieces of my precious finds from places I've been, put a lot of frames with memorable pictures, build as high as possible bookshelf to put every book I'd collected for years and complete the room with the smell of vanilla candle...

Unlike my other friends, I'm quite obsessed with kitchen rather than bedroom. I wish I had a kitchen with an island in the middle of it, with the wine bottle hanger on the top so I could enjoy drinking with friends while sitting there with our hands over the fresh-from-the-oven short bread or sitting reading my reports while waiting for my cupcakes to get done. My kitchen will have a small shelf dedicated for my favorite recipe books and hand written recipe from my mom. I'd also love to keep some crystal wine glasses ,or beer 's would also be nice too!

For my own bedroom I want to have it simple, a double bed size would be perfect covered with a warm blanket with a contrast color. I would never ever put a TV in my bedroom. Not a chance I'll let TV or computer or electronic games to be around my room. I'm an adult for goodness sake, no longer a student! I also want my walk-in-robe that 's just enough size for easy access. I also want some spaces dedicated for my shoes and bags, too!

It would be nice to have it happened someday and I'm working on it :)

as simple as an appreciation

I was in front if my laptop, when my dad was flicking the TV channels and stopped at this one Chinese drama. I did not get the whole story, but I found an part of the drama a bit interesting.

So there was this guy who happened to visit his ex-wife's house and found out that she has already re-married to another guy. He almost excused himself from that awkward situation, but apparently his ex-wife hubby was very courteous himself *funnily, he even called this guy, "Senior"!*, he asked him to stay for a family dinner. So the guy reluctantly stayed for the dinner.

When the food was finally served on the dinner table, his es-wife's new hubby was really eager and delightedly said to this guy, "Please try my wife's chicken noodle. It's the best in Beijing! It's really classic, you won't find anything like this elsewhere!" He even helped him to get the meat into his bowl, just typical Asian tradition, as a show of respect towards their guests. This new hubby was really enjoying the food, as he non-stop-ly praising his wife's own made noodle and obviously enjoyed every sip of it.

But his ex-wife said nothing, and turned to his ex-hubby and simply said, "Still the same noodle" with a clear awkward emotion on her face. While eating his noodle, this guy replied, "Yes, and it is delicious".

After the dinner is finished, this guy met a friend of him and talked to him about his ex-wife and her new husband. "She's obviously happier", he mentioned.

I didn't watch the whole story, but I got the impression that when this guy was married to his ex-wife, it was clear that he was also used to of the same noodle. But the difference is, his ex-wife's new hubby appreciates the food she made for him, while he did not. He might used to complain about her noodle and his lack of appreciation made his ex-wife got enough of him. And he realized, he'd done something wrong, may be without him even realized it before; it did not make his wife happy.

It is true that for a woman, at least for me, an appreciation is more than anything we ever wanted. For a woman to prepare or to cook or to make some efforts for someone, at least for me, is a language of showing love. There is a word of affection behind it and maybe comes with a little bit of sacrifice added.

Appreciation is what I believe, one out of few factors that forms a foundation in a relationship. That is at least for me.

my very own indulgence

I got a chance to get home early today, and because my parents are coming home tonight so I spared sometimes for a little bit of cleaning, wash dishing and preparing some fruits.

Tonight the weather is unforgivably hot. At least, we have 28-29 degrees or more I believe. May be I haven't done a lot of work, but this hot airy within the house did really wear me out. And since I'm all by myself, I also prepared my very own instant noodle :p A bowl of instant noodle after a good shower and knowing you have everything to do had been done, is more than simply delicious! I had it while blog-walking in front of my laptop, and I realized, it's simply indulging!

I haven't had such a life for quite a while. Since I got back home and lives with my parents, I no longer have a chance to everything on my liking anymore. There are so many things to adapt and compromise, I even missed my long hour internet session in my very own room! Work itself has already taken my one third of 24 hours, spending time in front of computer or reading novels for 3 hours straight is a big no no..

On other notes, market is now open and closed quite stagnant with only 0.7% increase since the suspension started. Indonesian government has also announced the increase of third party fund guarantee for up to IDR 2 bio for every bank's customer. I think government has taken whatever it takes to assure our customer. Under this kind of circumstance, even old player investors can get panicked, let alone our traditional customers who rely merely on saving account and term deposit. Assurance, that's what our customers need. It is our government's task to ensure that their money are safe and to make them believe that we still have strong economy fundamental for future growth and developement, despite of the whacked out of US economy.

My life and nowadays US falling apart economy are a complete statement of 'oh-hell-'Im-living in-a-reality!'

weekend menu

My parents haven't been around for the last two weeks during Lebaran holiday. I spent 9 days in my auntie's house since they left, but I came back home since last Friday. Nothing is better than your own room, really. I've learned to appreciate what I have, who I am and how I position myself in different situation.

This weekend was fun. The traffic wasn't that bad, I think most people who'd gone back to their cities are not here yet. I went to a wedding invitation last night of a colleague of mine. I got chance to see many people I see in the office everyday, only in different outfits and completely different atmosphere. I saw some girls tightly hugging with their boyfriends and fathers with their wife and kids. Its really interesting when you got to see others' another side of life you've never seen before.

Another story, Indonesia Stock Exchange (IDX) has been suspended since last Wednesday. They opened until 11.08 am, but decided to discontinue the trading until further notice due to the significant drop of equity index. The index plunged for more than 10% in one day, it has reached the lowest point during the year. This the first time happened in our market, I believe many people have shown different reactions upon this decision. It decided to open for Friday's trading, however they should take their decision back cuz' regional signaled a worsening market. I think it should be back to normal by tomorrow though.

I also met my boyfriend's best friend and his wife today for an afternoon coffee at Bakoel Koffee. It was a great catch up and we decided to continue the chat during dinner at Tokio Joe (TJ). But at the end, only half an hour before we were supposed to meet, they texted my boyfriend to cancel the dinner. Their 6 month old baby was still sleeping and the babysitter was on her leave. That's only a small part of the commitment of having your own kids, that's what they had silently taught me.

But my boyfriend and I still managed to go to TJ and met up with another best friend of mine and her hubby. I really enjoyed the food and the company. I wish I could do more of this, especially with my other girlfriends. It's just made me miss them even more :(

life is a picture perfect

How could a picture justified as perfect? Tidy outfit with a big grin plastered on your face? Beautiful sunny days at the background with your beloved one next to you with that familiar smile?

If that is called perfect, then I would not want to have such a life because life is unfortunately not always about sunny days and laughter. It doesn't always about your beloved ones who are always ready to be the shoulder to cry on. As the matter of fact, sometimes you're expected to stand on your own feet, while you think you're not yet ready to stand by your own.

Life with its flaws, rainy days, darkness and tears has completed the full meaning of life itself. What we called 'failure', 'heartbroken' and 'disappointment' , they actually give definition of 'success', 'falling in love' and 'satisfaction' some extra feelings that we would not be able to comprehend with our simple brain. It won't be the same feeling; for being success without ever being failed or falling in love again after a break up.

I would never ever had a picture perfect life, because my life itself is already a picture perfect.

my second lebaran

We enter Idul Fitri holiday this month, the second time for me since I came back to Indonesia.

I still clearly remember the same holiday last year, I went to Puncak with my parents and bunch of their friends. I didn't want to go, but I was left with no choices. My maid wasn't present (holiday), meaning I would be all alone at home. I didn't mind to stay at home by myself but my parents did, so I reluctantly joined them.

I also clearly can recall, how brokenhearted I was at that time. I didn't have many friends around at that time (my best friends were also out for holiday) as much as I do now. I just came back for less than 3 months, I was adapting and I was jobless. I was mostly absent minded during those times, while listening to some Chinese songs that helped me to re-live some good and bad memories I had in the city I lived before.

A year has passed and now I'm in completely different situation. I'm no longer jobless, I have a stable relationship, I have a lot..I mean A LOT of new friends scattered around this city and I have a new exciting career to welcome sometimes this month.

Other than those material things, I also have became wiser and own deeper insight about life more that I've thought before. I realize that whatever I have ever dreamed and asked for, they are now slowly reveal themselves, hidden somewhere under my ambitions and expectations . I should digging a lot to eventually realize that I've already blessed.

This is my second Idul Fitri holiday that I more than glad to welcome. In fact, I dont mind to have it a little longer :)