:: Some Notes of My Reminiscense

Many people have asked how I've been doing since the very first day I was in China. The answer never really came out so easily from my mouth. Whatever you've ever heard from me, believe me, it wasn't that easy to say.

At the very first day of my arrival, I was totally fine and a lil bit excited. I remember that I once sent a message to my auntie in Melbourne, told her that I was fine and this city wasn't that bad after all. My dormitory turns out to be better than what I'd expected before, my Korean roommate is very nice, the building is very clean and my surrounding is good.

Everything was good except after the next 24 hours. I can still perfectly picture how miserable I was during the next few days. I had this nervous breakdown when I stupidly just realized that 600 TOEFL score or 10 years English course won't do any little. In China, they're useless.

Things couldn't be any worse than these; when you were in an area you're unfamiliar with. I can't say a damn word, can't read a damn character, and let's forget about writing. It was depressing and mentally tiring. I remember when I was busy calling my friends all around the world *well, not really. but friends from two or three different countries though*, in search for people who can speak normal human language. At that time, listening to Norah Jones at Starbucks couldn't be more indulging, to hear people speak English felt like listening to heaven's sounds. I had a terrible Melbourne-sick, I couldn't stop calling everybody in there or at least asked them to call me.

I know it sounds stupid. I know that I sound so weak and naive. I couldn't believe it too, cuz I always believed that I'd be strong enough to live anywhere. I believed adaptation wasn't that intriguing anymore. But things were really not that simple.

But again, I don't have all the time in the world for anymore whimpering and whinning. After a while, I've successfully proved myself that I can and I will be able to make it in this country. I've got to move on, I have to survive. That's exactly what I'm doing now.

Another life lesson is well learned: that life is all about surviving.