Spare of A Girl's Thoughts

"Life is not about finding our self, but how we create it" It's about a girl who is very fascinated about life, but yet hasn't got enough about it. She's kinda stuck between the reminiscent and the future all about but always looking forward to move on and wishing someday, neither force or vengeance would be able to restraint her from her very own freedom.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

:: Things I Want to Remember

Hi, it's me! Back to write again...

I've just had my exam this morning. One test is down but still have another exam coming though.

Like usual, exam period is very exhausting. Both physically and mentally. In contrast to my last exam periods, I've been trying really hard to 'enjoy' this semester exam. My master program will be finish this semester and it means no more uni tests and assignments in the future and please get rid from the suggestion for taking PhD program :P

To let you know I am a person who is never satisfied. Now I've been bitching all my assignment and test at uni, but probably I also will do the same when I get involved in the workplace someday. And at that time, I will surely miss my assignment, test, etc. That is why I would like to write things that I would like keep in mind, in case, 5 years later, I will envy the future uni students.

Three weeks a go: I remembered so clear how I hated it so much when I had to go to uni for group assignment taht Sunday. I almost cancelled the meeting, but I guess what I was going to do was just prolong the conclusion of my assignment. So I forced my self to go to uni, half hearted, and sleepy eyes.

Two weeks a go: Group assignment report was due. After a night chat with a groupmate, finally we were done. Got it submitted and had another individual assignment to go. Then I started to do this assignment and went for consultation in the middle of the week. Went to library during weekend from 4 to 9 pm. And on Sunday, I was so blank with the extra question given, I just didn't know what to write and what to do. My groupmate came to my house, hand me his assignment cuz' he asked me a favour to submit the assignment for him. I tried my best to finish the extra questions and finally finished three question till' 4 am. In the morning I woke up early to do the last question.

10 days ago: I finally received the feedback for both assignments. They were really good actually. Thank God for that. But another assignment was coming up again. So again I spent my time at library on Saturday morning till late. And on Sunday, I went to Borders cafe not for shopping or read a novel, but trying hard to break the code (please note this was ABAP Programming code, not Da Vinci's ;) ) reading thru the lecture notes and research paper found. I was so pressured cuz' it was three more days before the due date.

7 days a go: Went to the last lectures and last tutorials this week. The last of the semester, oh, those may be my last ones in my life, too. It felt like a mixture of excitement and anguish deep inside my heart. Knowing I am not gonna sit as a student anymore and getting excited of what the future may offer my life after this stage. Then I went to library again till late on Tuesday. I, amazingly by grace, finally finished my final assignment that night. I stayed a whole day again at library on Thursday and left my Friday as my day off.

3 days a go: I went to library again from 11 am to 9.30 pm. I and my groupmate studied together in front of library window. We had been there since we felt too hot due to sun exposure towards the window until felt too cold because of the night breeze. But all together, we managed to go through almost half of the topics and left the library at 9.30 pm.

2 days a go: We managed another study meeting. Unfortunately the library was closed at 5 pm, so my group mate decided to have a study group at his office. Three of us including her girlfriend went through our thick and deadly lecture notes and past exam papers till 10 o'clock at night. If I think about it, how funny it was to study at someone's office I've never visited before. But his office is a good place though, and I was sitting on someone's cubicle. I assumed she is a mom, cuz' she put quite a lot of pictures of her cute daughter and bubba. Oh, they are so cute...

A day a go: I woke up early because I had to reach uni before 11 am. Yesterday was very cold, foggy, wet and windy. Wow, what a complete package. After a brief consultation with a tutor, the study continued again at Matheson Library. I was so heavily tired, and starving, and nervous. Yeah..nervous! I got this exam on the following day in the morning, nervous sounds so normal, doesn't it? I planned to sleep early last night, but I couldn't. I slept at 1 am and set the clock to wake up at 6 am tommorow morning.

Today: I couldn't sleep sound last night. I had a big and quick breakfast very early today. And in 1.5 hours I sat on my exam, compete with time, read the questions keenly, got stuck within numbers, and exercising my pelvic muscle like I always do during my Pilates class *seriously, I was utterly in desire to go for toilet, but I couldn't!* After the finish of the exam, I and some friends were involved in a great exam discussion. We were laughed, puzzled, went-aaahhhhh or now-i-know or 'what-the-heck' conversation. But we definitely ended with best wishes for one another.

I will remember these things I went through for the past couple years of my life, I will remember when I was so worn out, the only-God-knows hours stay in library and labs. I will remember the feeling of depression when I was stuck in the middle of the topic, reading it for hundreds times but still couldn't get it. But I also cherish the moment, when there were times after struggling and almost dying with certain topic, I finally found the answer. I will remember walking home from Clayton, caught a late train and got cold during the trip.

I will remember the smell of coffee, my must wake up drink in the morning. I surely will reminisce the foods at Monash cafetaria, which are sucks.

I will remember all the prayer I've ever said to God, before and after the exam. I will remember those restless nights, and oh...the i-don't wanna-wake-up-yet mornings. I also will remember all my close peeps saying, "It's okay, I know you'll do fine" or "Remember, it's only by grace", or may be simple advice, "don't sleep late tonight. that will make you feel good tommorow morning". Or may be an enlightment words, "HD yeah!" :D

For some people, may be what I've been through is nothing compared to what they had done or have been doing. I believe some people out there do work harder than me. Regardless of that, I cherish my experience as a part of my life. Someday, when I need to look back again... here is the point where I will go to.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

just do your best, let God do the rest ^^P

4:32 PM  
Blogger mango said...

man, i miss school.

ok, i'm weird, i know :P

kapan bikin eljeh? ckckckck. janjimu palsuuuu..

1:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with your exams, hope you really do well!

I know exactly how you feel - I used to bitch, moan and complain like hell about study, uncooperative or lazy classmates who I was doing group assignments with (yes I had these too!) but you know something?

I really miss the whole uni routine: especially the friendships I made and the freedom of life as a student *sigh*.

vveen, I'd like to wish you well for the future - what are your plans now? Will you be leaving us behind in cold foggy Melbourne after you finish your exams?

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Part-time PHD then.

8:48 PM  
Blogger vveen said...

Yvonne: thanks von...an encouragement is what i need now.

.25: you've always been weird anyway. hehehe.

mase: THAT is a million dollar question, mase! I haven't decided yet...but sure thing is I'm gonna be damned in misery when I have to leave this city *sigh*

anonymous: You're a such a pushy girl..or guy...or whatever! hehe.

9:50 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home